Category Archives: Victoria

Move Over Gaybies

Y’all! We did it!

After several weeks of pretty hard bar-hopping venue-searching, your Tell It masters have found a brand new home in Park Slope, on the south side.

Starting June 20, Victoria and Susan will be hosting your favorite monthly story-o-rama at the fabulous Bar 4 on 7th avenue and 15th street.


The final details are still being sorted out but you can count on a show with an amazing featured storyteller as well as the likes of you!  The can has been pining away in storage, hoping and dreaming of the day when it will feel the joyous weight of names writ large on small sheets of paper again.  Only you can make that happen so polish up your storytelling boots and get excited for the 20th of June.   We’ll be back soon with more details and other exciting news so keep in touch.

We sure have missed you.

Pearls of Wisdom

What can happen is deflation, not economically speaking thought that’s something you might want to look into for the future, but deflation like the birthday balloon no one wants anymore.

There are times when you will inflate with excitement over an idea or event, the potential of doing something will feel so great and so exciting, the big red balloon inside you will swell.

You will fill with life giving air — air that has been poisoned by those who have come before you, by the way — and the lightness of the balloon will be inside you. You will feel it there and you will care for it and anticipate the finished results of the future task that led you to this transmogrification. Moments of joy will wash over you so quickly you’ll be confused by the tears that are welling in your eyes. As you begin to wipe them and you worry for the sadness that brought them so quickly, you’ll realize you are overwhelmed with feeling good in the world. The potential you and all others have to live exceptionally. You will realize those are tears of joy and they will feel alive. The balloon inside you will be so big and full of you, the you that will do and give and create for this world, you will know that you can’t contain it, and you shouldn’t. Well, I say, cry, dammit! Let the joy come out because soon some son of a mother will come by and pop it.

Somehow, some a-hole will have a straight pin. They always do.

So remember that. Maybe learn to wrap your balloon in duct tape. But learn that those a-holes are everywhere. Like the CIA until the fall of the wall. (You know about that, right? Definitely something to read about for the future as well, if you haven’t already.)

So take this, along with the check for $10, and put it away for a rainy day. There will be a lot of rainy days ahead.

Anyway, happy 10th birthday, kiddo! I look forward to seeing you at Christmas.




PS. Don’t let your father read this. He’s far too sensitive. Sometimes generations get skipped. -gma

Tips for Tasty Living

These are my tips for roasting a 3 1/2 pound bird because I make freaking awesome roasted chicken.

I recommend using the convection setting on your oven if you have it–as long as you use a roasting pan or something where the air will be able to move around the chicken.  If you’re using a high walled pot or pan or the chicken is crammed in then use the conventional oven setting.  As a general note, a convection oven allows you to reduce cooking time while also using a lower temp due to a fan that circulates the hot air.

In a normal oven, I roast a chicken stuffed with lemon slices and herbs at 400 for about an hour and 45 minutes to two hours. Unstuffed would probably take about an hour. In the convection, I roast at 375 for an hour 15 stuffed and 45 minutes unstuffed.  As always, times are approximate. A few key things to remember regarding cooking time: it is always easier to check the done-ness and then add additional cooking time.

It is impossible to take an overcooked chicken back in time to its moister days.

As the cooking time progresses, use a meat thermometer or, for those who don’t need or have no stinking meat thermometer, stick a knife blade into the thickest part of the thigh to the bone and then look at the juices.  I’m sure you know this but the juices should run clear or golden.  Not pink and definitely not red.  Also, I think a key to my chicken is that I let it rest.  For reals. Pull your chicken out of the oven, check the juices and let that sucker sit there, loosely covered for AT LEAST 15 min.

If it’s warm outside then I am prone to letting the chicken get to just above room temp. Hell, I’ve left a chicken sitting for 45 minutes and the thing was delicious but maybe that’s just me. The last stages of cooking will happen while it’s resting and the juices really will dissipate back into the bird.  The cooking while resting quality of meat also allows for me to err on the side of underdone-ness.

There is no shame in beginning to cut open your chicken only to realize it’s not done.  If that happens, suck it up and either put it back in the oven or cut up the pieces and sauté them.  For years, I would pull a chicken out too early and then have to jerryrig some sort of final cooking.  While it isn’t the most attractive way to finish a bird I think learning to roast my chickens that way has led to success.  Mentally, it’s a lot easier to inch a recipe/dish closer and closer to done than it is to work backwards from overcooked.


On prepping the bird:

I generally run my finger between skin and meat.  It helps the skin brown and crisp well.

I cut up a lemon and stuff that with thyme or rosemary or garlic or whatever and salt and pepper.  Takes longer to cook but helps considerably with moisture levels.

Once or twice towards the end I’ll baste the skin.  Helps to brown.  Beware doing it too soon or it could get too brown and burn.

Also, liberally apply salt and pepper.  Especially inside the cavity of the bird.

As well,  tuck the wing tips behind the breast so they don’t burn.

Lastly, if the breast is getting too brown you can tent foil over it or use a damp cheesecloth laid on the top part of the breast.  Make sure and keep the cheesecloth moist though.

Most importantly, don’t listen to your friends when they tell you the chicken isn’t done yet.  It’s people like us who live on the edge of raw and deliciously moist while the naysayers sit in the safety of dry and mealy pieces of garbage.

Season liberally, check the thighs, and remember that when you open the oven you will be adding time due to heat loss so try and keep that OCD stuff to a minimum.

Let me know if you have any other questions.


One More For The Road

Once again, an amazing group of storytellers came out to The Way Station last night for August’s installment of the show, Fences.  As diligent as a postal carrier, folks braved the torrential rains to listen and tell some great stories.  The show doesn’t exist without you and we thank you so much for coming!

We met new neighbors and saw old friends; Emily was almost eaten by a grizzly bear and Glen almost found relationship material.  Hope was after my own heart as a young punk rocker and Marc, well, Marc met Clive Barker.  The Clive Barker.  And cried.  Anita went to Mall Jail and may have cried a little, too.  Naomi was robbed on her way to work but still got a guy’s digits and Cori taught us how to steal porn from the ’70’s and set dumpsters afire.

Jane has found love and Chloe’s learned how to lose love when it gets too drunk to take home.  Timothy got up for his first time at Tell It and Jonah was living off the cuff and we thank each and everyone of you for dropping your name in the can and sharing your voices with us.

Of course, these small tastes do little justice to the stories people told so make sure you come out September 19th to hear, and tell it, yourself.  The theme for September is Pirate so borrow your friend’s parrot and get your yarrr on or do a little copyright infringement or make up your own interpretation and come on down.  Let’s do this…


Thanks to a very friendly sales rep, Sarah, (apologies for any name misspelling, Sara/h, I’m a slow learner when it comes to the inclinations of our Live Free or Die state) at Enviro-tote, Tell It: Brooklyn will soon have its very own tote bag!  Yes, we are jumping on the merchandising bandwagon and I am just as excited as you.

Of course, we’re going to keep the design under wraps for now–we don’t want to steal any thunder from the Olympics–but I’m sure we’ll be dropping hints as we get closer to the magic day when you will be able to purchase a tote for EVERYONE you know.


Also, we’ll be giving a few of these puppies* away so it’s in your best interest to keep up with the shenanigans of Tell It.

And to make more friends who need tote bags.

*not actual puppies